So, I have to be up in 2 hours to get ready to head over to Disney for the Princess 1/2. No, I'm not running it, but I am volunteering and will be working the TNT Tent from 3-11a.m. Seeing how I normally sleep from about 5am-12pm, this is going to be a loooong night/day. I got up at 9:30am Saturday and will most likely be awake until 1 or 2 on Sunday...or whenever I get home. Coffee will get me through...I hope.
Anyways, last weekend I did a 5k w/ my friend Lea. She just started walking/jogging and this was her first 5k so it was a big deal for her and I wanted to be there to motivate her and keep her from slacking off. Well, honestly, I figured I'd just walk the whole thing w/ her and didn't wrap/compress my legs. Instead, I did a lot of intervals; running ahead for 5 min and then running back to wherever she was then and then walking for a couple minutes. So, let's just say it has been a struggle for me to even WALK this week. For those of you that don't know, I suffered multiple stress fractures in late '06. I had 2 in my right tibia (one so bad it was almost completely broke through my bone), 2 left tibia, 1 left femur, and my left cuneiform bones were fractured. How did I do all of this? Bootcamp. Yep. The military. I joined the Navy and went to bootcamp. I'll try to make it quick, but I was a runner before I went there so I knew the physical aspect of it wouldn't bother me...so about 4 weeks in when I got horrible pains in my lower legs and they would swell after a day of marching around like a wackadoodle and my left foot was swollen too, I knew something wasn't right. So, I'd go to ship sick call or medical and all I'd ever hear was "It is just shin splints," and I'd be given an LLD chit (limited/light duty) and an Ice chit so I could ice them whenever we were in our "ship". Well, about a week before graduation, I decided to go to SSC again because I was still having pains and no improvement. Thank God a PT was also there that day and asked me to jump. When I couldn't jump, he immediately sent me to medical with paperwork ordering a bone scan (nothing ever showed on x-rays, obviously). The next morning I had a bone scan and I was covered in them. I was then sent away from my division, not graduating, and stuck in a sad and tiny place where they put "broken" recruits w/ injuries while healing or possibly being sent home. I did PT there for the next month before I decided I wouldn't be able to pass my running test in time before they sent me home anyways, so I just asked my doctor to let me go ahead and go.
I have not been the same since then. After months of being off my feet unless needed and therapy, I still would have to stop after walking around the mall/shopping because of the pains in my legs (mainly my right; much more severe). Well, last year I thought I had moved on! My bone pain was almost non-existent and so, I started to walk/run again. I could feel where I had the fractures but started wrapping/compressing my shins and felt a ton of relief....then I joined TNT. Still, fine....until the 5k with no wrap/compression. Literally, this past week (until this afternoon), I have struggled to even walk. I was having to walk in an abnormal fashion just to move faster than a snail. This morning my legs hurt even more (probably cause I walked around the princess expo Friday afternoon in flip flops-duhhh), and I went to breakfast and walmart with my mom and in walmart I just told her, "I can't do it! Gotta go home!'. I came home, took 1600mg of ibuprofen and iced both of my legs for 2 hours (rotating the ice pack every 15 minutes of course). After that, they finally started to feel normal.
I am still having pains tonight, not as severe as earlier this week, but still pain...and shooting pains...in my boooooooooones. If you've had bone pain, you know what I'm talking about and I'd rather my muscles hurt any day. What is worrying me now is that my TNT recommitment is next Thursday, 3/3, and I'm scared if I recommit and this pain continues or, Heaven forbid, increases, that I won't be able to actually run the race....not to mention I'm still freaking out about having to raise another $1,300. It's taken me forever to raise that and I, as a full time student w/ no income, can not afford to pay that out of my pocket. So....what do I do?? I've been praying but I still feel very conflicted. I fell as if I will be letting SOOO many people down if I don't recommit, not to mention myself. But, if I recommit and I push through and get injured (more), I'll pay for it forever (and I really want to do Maui in Sept and Nike in Oct!!!!).
Ugh. I just don't know what to do. :-/
I may perhaps be the worse person to give this advice but I honestly think that you need to take care of you first! Your own health is most important. I can see how you would feel like you're letting people down if you don't recommit, but I believe those that have donated did so for two reasons: they believe in you and for the cause. The cause being the main reason.
ReplyDeleteI donated to a TNTer and would love to see him rock the race with the help of TNT. However, whether or not he crosses the starting line, my money went to a good cause. Sure, I would love for him to meet his goal. However, if he does not, I would not by any means be disappointed. I would still believe and root for him. I understand that money doesn't grow on trees. In this economy, we have to take care of ourselves physically, emotionally, mentally, and financially.
"Smaller sacrifices may be a bigger long term investment." :o)
Rooting for you and hoping you find your answer :o)