I am laughing at myself. :)
I think I'll film some funny stuff for this blog this weekend/next week. I'm actually a funny character if you really get to know me. <3
Friday, March 11, 2011
Accent vlog!
Ok, so I did an accent vlog! I hate recording in regular color and in black and white...so, I used the thermal camera. Get over it. :) (horrible angle for me...but whatever.)
If you’re interested in following along (or doing this on your own blog!), here’s the list:
The Accent Vlog: Aunt, Route, Wash, Oil, Theater, Iron, Salmon, Caramel, Fire, Water, Sure, Data, Ruin, Crayon, Toilet, New Orleans, Pecan, Both, Again, Probably, Spitting image, Alabama, Lawyer, Coupon, Mayonnaise, Syrup, Pajamas, Caught
- What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house?
- What is the bug that when you touch it, it curls into a ball?
- What is the bubbly carbonated drink called?
- What do you call gym shoes?
- What do you say to address a group of people?
- What do you call the kind of spider that has an oval-shaped body and extremely long legs?
- What do you call your grandparents?
- What do you call the wheeled contraption in which you carry groceries at the supermarket?
- What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining?
- What is the thing you change the TV channel with?
Sunday, March 6, 2011
So, yeah. :/
I have a ton of things I want to blog about and have the intentions of doing so tonight, but something else has been bothering me and I just need to get it all out. I'm not sure if I'm doing this in hopes of support, encouragement, advice, or just to get it out...but either way, I need to vent.
So, if you know me well, you know I have a tumor called a prolactinoma. It is considered a brain tumor although it is technically on the pituitary gland, but that is right up against your brain, so...it's a brain tumor. Depending on the size of your tumor, it can also push up against your optic nerve and damage your eye sight (which mine is doing). I will post a link at the bottom of this blog from the National Brain Tumor Society that has information on the tumor if you are interested in learning more about it. But, let me tell you, reading the symptoms and what it can do to you is NOTHING compared to experiencing it. I am very thankful I do not have cancer, I can't imagine that, but I know this tiny pea-sized tumor has changed my life.
Some of this may be TMI for some, but, this is real life, so deal with it...
In February of 2008, I moved back to FL from GA (and TN, too). Well, in August I realized that I had not had my period in 2 months. I was always irregular, so missing a month didn't really bother me and I knew I wasn't pregnant, so I didn't think much of it. Well, Sept came and I had gained about 10 lbs (in one month, that is a lot), still no period, went up a cup size in my bra (TMI, I don't care...this is real life), and started eating things I normally didn't eat, and by that I mean I was craving things I normally hated. So, here came October. Still no period, gained about 10-15 more lbs and I was still eating odd things. At this point, I knew something was wrong with me. I knew I wasn't pregnant, so why was I acting like I was? Not to mention, along with all of these things going on, I was constantly sleepy, nauseated, and overly emotional. Not a good combo. Well, at the end of October, I went to my friend who was a nurse (I worked at a Dr's office) and told her what was going on. She said she'd order some blood work for me and since my mom worked at that office too, I knew I had to tell her.
So, I did and she freaked out because she thought I was pregnant. I kept reassuring here that I wasn't and after about a week, she finally believed me. So, my blood work was abnormal and so I went to my ob-gyn and he ran some more blood work on me. Well, he tested my prolactin level and it was 249. The normal range for someone my age who is NOT pregnant is 0-49. Sooo, my hormones were those of someone who was about 28471389561347 years pregnant...and I WAS MISERABLE. So, I had an MRI done and all to confirm the tumor, and there it was! A little pea-size tumor from HELL. I started going to an Endocrinologist who put me on some meds to shrink the tumor. Well, those meds made me so sick that I had to take 3 other pills daily as well just to keep myself from throwing up and having migraines. Then, 6 months into treatment, my levels had only come down to about 240, so my meds got increased. Yeah, that's fun....
About 6 months after that, I got laid off along with a bunch of other people due to downsizing. It was great timing because I was about to start school full time, but not great for someone with a medical problem because I would no longer have insurance. (Side note: BCBS only paid $5 of my $250 medications every month because it was a "non-formulary" pill...WHY did I even pay for insurance??) So, now it has been almost 2 years that I have not had medication for my tumor. I can't work full time to get insurance because I go to school full time. I can not get Medicaid because...well, they never really gave me a good reason but I have been denied 4 times. I can't get into the health dept here without paying out the butt because of the money I get for school...I guess they don't care that the money actually goes to school and NOT ME. I can work out a payment plan with my Endo to see her, but there are no labs around here to get my blood work done that will work out a payment plan...and ONE of my lab test is over $200...and I need to have 3 tests done every 3-6 months.
This tumor can not only damage my sight (or leave me blind), but it also makes most women that have them infertile. While some women with this tumor still have children of their own, it is difficult, especially if they are still on the medication to shrink the tumor, and often they have to have fertility drugs. Basically, this tumor makes your body think you are pregnant. You do not ovulate, so how could you get pregnant? You can't. And that bothers me. They say if your tumor goes untreated for a long time before you begin treatment, even if your tumor shrinks, it can still prevent you from having your own kids because of damage already done.
I have always wanted to adopt if ever get to a place in my life where I want kids. But, I wanted adoption to be because it is what I wanted to do, not because it was my only choice. That sounded kinda bad, but what I mean it...I will still adopt, but it hurts to know that I don't have the option of ever actually having my own child. But, occasionally I think about it and it makes me want to cry. Maybe God put the desire to adopt in me because He knew this was going to happen. He prepared me for a life where I would adopt my children.
I also know that there are not a lot of clinical trials for this type of tumor....or awareness/education. I do understand how other types of tumors are life threatening and more severe, but this tumor has changed my life forever as well...not to mention the life of the man I marry (should I get married). The NBTS does events and fundraising, but not a lot is done on the east coast. I'm going to try to get at least a 5k planned and done in FL before I move at the end of September.
I know I do a lot of fundraising for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, but I am going to start my own little mission (I'm calling it Prolacti-NO-MORE since the tumor is Prolactinoma, haha) and I am going to be doing fundraising for NBTS as well. I want there to be more awareness about this kind of tumor and how many women (and men, they can get this tumor too) it has an impression on and changes their life.
I pray that by the end of the year I have landed a full time job and have benefits so I can start that horrible medication again. It's a bad treatment, but it's a treatment!
Anyways, had to get that off my chest. This tumor has changed my life...and it pisses me off that all these things happen while I'm trying to be a good person and help others, and not even I can get medical treatment for myself.
Link to National Brain Tumor Society's page about this tumor:
http://www.braintumor.org/patients-family-friends/about-brain-tumors/tumor-types/pituitary-tumors.html
So, if you know me well, you know I have a tumor called a prolactinoma. It is considered a brain tumor although it is technically on the pituitary gland, but that is right up against your brain, so...it's a brain tumor. Depending on the size of your tumor, it can also push up against your optic nerve and damage your eye sight (which mine is doing). I will post a link at the bottom of this blog from the National Brain Tumor Society that has information on the tumor if you are interested in learning more about it. But, let me tell you, reading the symptoms and what it can do to you is NOTHING compared to experiencing it. I am very thankful I do not have cancer, I can't imagine that, but I know this tiny pea-sized tumor has changed my life.
Some of this may be TMI for some, but, this is real life, so deal with it...
In February of 2008, I moved back to FL from GA (and TN, too). Well, in August I realized that I had not had my period in 2 months. I was always irregular, so missing a month didn't really bother me and I knew I wasn't pregnant, so I didn't think much of it. Well, Sept came and I had gained about 10 lbs (in one month, that is a lot), still no period, went up a cup size in my bra (TMI, I don't care...this is real life), and started eating things I normally didn't eat, and by that I mean I was craving things I normally hated. So, here came October. Still no period, gained about 10-15 more lbs and I was still eating odd things. At this point, I knew something was wrong with me. I knew I wasn't pregnant, so why was I acting like I was? Not to mention, along with all of these things going on, I was constantly sleepy, nauseated, and overly emotional. Not a good combo. Well, at the end of October, I went to my friend who was a nurse (I worked at a Dr's office) and told her what was going on. She said she'd order some blood work for me and since my mom worked at that office too, I knew I had to tell her.
So, I did and she freaked out because she thought I was pregnant. I kept reassuring here that I wasn't and after about a week, she finally believed me. So, my blood work was abnormal and so I went to my ob-gyn and he ran some more blood work on me. Well, he tested my prolactin level and it was 249. The normal range for someone my age who is NOT pregnant is 0-49. Sooo, my hormones were those of someone who was about 28471389561347 years pregnant...and I WAS MISERABLE. So, I had an MRI done and all to confirm the tumor, and there it was! A little pea-size tumor from HELL. I started going to an Endocrinologist who put me on some meds to shrink the tumor. Well, those meds made me so sick that I had to take 3 other pills daily as well just to keep myself from throwing up and having migraines. Then, 6 months into treatment, my levels had only come down to about 240, so my meds got increased. Yeah, that's fun....
About 6 months after that, I got laid off along with a bunch of other people due to downsizing. It was great timing because I was about to start school full time, but not great for someone with a medical problem because I would no longer have insurance. (Side note: BCBS only paid $5 of my $250 medications every month because it was a "non-formulary" pill...WHY did I even pay for insurance??) So, now it has been almost 2 years that I have not had medication for my tumor. I can't work full time to get insurance because I go to school full time. I can not get Medicaid because...well, they never really gave me a good reason but I have been denied 4 times. I can't get into the health dept here without paying out the butt because of the money I get for school...I guess they don't care that the money actually goes to school and NOT ME. I can work out a payment plan with my Endo to see her, but there are no labs around here to get my blood work done that will work out a payment plan...and ONE of my lab test is over $200...and I need to have 3 tests done every 3-6 months.
This tumor can not only damage my sight (or leave me blind), but it also makes most women that have them infertile. While some women with this tumor still have children of their own, it is difficult, especially if they are still on the medication to shrink the tumor, and often they have to have fertility drugs. Basically, this tumor makes your body think you are pregnant. You do not ovulate, so how could you get pregnant? You can't. And that bothers me. They say if your tumor goes untreated for a long time before you begin treatment, even if your tumor shrinks, it can still prevent you from having your own kids because of damage already done.
I have always wanted to adopt if ever get to a place in my life where I want kids. But, I wanted adoption to be because it is what I wanted to do, not because it was my only choice. That sounded kinda bad, but what I mean it...I will still adopt, but it hurts to know that I don't have the option of ever actually having my own child. But, occasionally I think about it and it makes me want to cry. Maybe God put the desire to adopt in me because He knew this was going to happen. He prepared me for a life where I would adopt my children.
I also know that there are not a lot of clinical trials for this type of tumor....or awareness/education. I do understand how other types of tumors are life threatening and more severe, but this tumor has changed my life forever as well...not to mention the life of the man I marry (should I get married). The NBTS does events and fundraising, but not a lot is done on the east coast. I'm going to try to get at least a 5k planned and done in FL before I move at the end of September.
I know I do a lot of fundraising for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, but I am going to start my own little mission (I'm calling it Prolacti-NO-MORE since the tumor is Prolactinoma, haha) and I am going to be doing fundraising for NBTS as well. I want there to be more awareness about this kind of tumor and how many women (and men, they can get this tumor too) it has an impression on and changes their life.
I pray that by the end of the year I have landed a full time job and have benefits so I can start that horrible medication again. It's a bad treatment, but it's a treatment!
Anyways, had to get that off my chest. This tumor has changed my life...and it pisses me off that all these things happen while I'm trying to be a good person and help others, and not even I can get medical treatment for myself.
Link to National Brain Tumor Society's page about this tumor:
http://www.braintumor.org/patients-family-friends/about-brain-tumors/tumor-types/pituitary-tumors.html
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